


In my Head, on my Body

by Arler_Mibreca



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Dubious Morality, F/M, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arler_Mibreca/pseuds/Arler_Mibreca
Summary: A mutated version of the legacy virus has begun to rip apart the world. In the wake of devastation, the last of the X-Men make play their cards, fight their battles, and lose their minds. Only a small group of men, women, and children are what stand between world devastation, and world salvation. Despite what's happening, will they be able to keep their wits? As they're forced to challenge their thinking and problem solving, some will find solace in love and friendship, and some will lose everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, I am really sorry, it's been about five years since I've really given writing an effort, and I'd like to ask you guys to have a little bit of patience, I'm going to try my best to keep from plot holes, or story conflicts, or whatever other problems might arise. Please work with me, I promise to do my best. Otherwise, thank you for reading!

Rogue

BANG*

BANG BANG*

BOOM*

I was shaken awake from my slumber by the sounds of fighting and screaming. I shot out of my makeshift bed and into the courtyard. They'd finally made it. I looked around and grabbed a baseball bat that was propped on the wall.

"Get to a vehicle! We need to leave immediately!" I heard Storm yell. Professor Xavier and Jean Grey had gone into the city to try to locate Tabitha and the other brotherhood members, however they'd never returned. That was 6 days ago. I ran around to the front yard of the mansion and got my first real glimpse of these things. I'll never forget it.

"Come on! Let's go!" Scott yelled. I saw one of the younger mutants fall backwards under one. These creatures were once humans, once people, like us. But they're not like us, not anymore. It'd started with the legacy virus, wiping out most of mutant kind. Hank had been able to make an anti-viral for it, but it was too late. The mutant population was devastated, and we were having trouble moving on. Nobody thought the virus would mutate itself and infect humans, but they suffered far worse than us. I ran forward and cracked the creature's head with the bat.

"Come on! Let's get going!" I said, helping the younger boy up. He ran with me to the jet and we boarded, along with Scott, Kitty, Piotr, Hank, Ororo, and Kurt. The others either used their mutations to escape, or they made it to the cars, or worse. I had to turn away and stop watching, it was horrific. Bobby made a large spike field that stopped their advance momentarily, and he, alongside Logan, Amara, Warren, and Ray, got into the van and peeled off. We'd set our rendezvous point and set off.

"What were those things?" I asked.

"They were humans." Hank said darkly, "well, once, they were human." My breath hitched in my throat.

"You mean they're-"

"Zombies?" The kid I pulled off the ground asked. He seemed to be a younger student than us, maybe 17 or 18.

"Yeah, for lack of a better term." Hank said.

"What we need to do now is regroup, re-plan, and try to stay alive." Ororo said to us.

"Stay alive, mein gott! Did you see those things?" Kurt exclaimed. "They were EATING US Storm!"

"I am aware Kurt, however letting it overwhelm me is what would have gotten me killed. There was simply no way that everyone was leaving the mansion." Ororo replied. "We'll simply need to wait until we are safe to properly mourn them."

"But what about the Professor? And Jean? They've been gone for almost a week. Do you think, do you think that they-" Kitty started.

"Don't even say it Kitty." Scott said. He was still shaking from the experience. Piotr had been silent the entire trip, his metal eyes distant

"We're approaching our destination." Hank said, landing the smaller jet. We sat for a minute while the van rolled up to the cave. We got out and stood together.

"Alright, we need to do a headcount." Scott said. "Remember how we always did it." He mumbled afterwards.

"Storm" Ororo started stoic as ever.

"Beast." Hank said solemnly.

"Shadowcat." Kitty said, crying softly.

"Nightcrawler." Kurt whispered.

"Berserker." Ray said, eyes puffy and red.

"Iceman." Bobby said through sobs. He held his stomach tightly.

"Magma." Amara said, a thousand yard stare in her eyes.

"Angel." Warren said, gently putting his arms around Bobby's shoulders.

"Wolverine." Logan growled out.

"Rogue." I said, wiping my eyes.

"Colossus." Piotr said gravely.

"Heartfelt." The boy I rescued said. So that's his Mutant persona.

"Cyclops." Scott finished. He counted all of us. "Thirteen in all."

"Avalanche." We heard. We turned and saw another group approaching, led by Lance.

"Boom Boom." Tabitha said, helping Wanda along.

"Scarlet Witch." Wanda growled out.

"And Mystique." The blue woman said. Storm stiffened.

"I've no problem with the children and young adults, but you, Shapeshifter, are not welcome with us." She said, hair flapping dangerously.

"Oh can it you bag of wind, I've got important information and we need to swap stories." Mystique said. Storm remained tense, but she held her tongue, ready to listen.

"All that we know on this is that there is a mutated Legacy Virus that takes over the motor and cognitive functions of the body, eventually killing the host. However, due to their high energy output, the body remains alive because it has a separate source of energy. They feed on us." Hank said.

"We've got all the same information, however, we learned that Mutants not only serve as their food source, we're their army too. Once we've been bitten, we display the same symptoms as the humans, but we retain our powers and the abilities to use them." Mystique said. This was a shock to every one of us. "That is, however, if we manage to keep enough of our bodies inact."

"So, overall then, we've got seventeen Mutants, almost all of us proficient in combat to some extent, how are we going to approach the-" Scott started.

"Hold it, we're not staying." Mystique said.

"What do you mean you're not staying?!" Scott demanded, angered.

"We stopped by to see if there was someone useful here, but since there's not," Mystique shrugged. Storm grit her teeth and clenched her fists. I could feel the static building in the air.

"You are the only person not useful. You're powers can't even be used to fight. All your mutation is good for is hiding." Storm said to the woman, shocking me. I'd never heard her talk with such venom.

"Are you calling me weak?" Mystique asked seething.

"Your own team is more capable than you." Storm shot back. Mystique tackled her to the ground, but Storm used a lightning bolt to strike her back while she was on top of her. Mystique fell to the ground, smoking.

"Enough, let's just get out of here." Lance said, ground shaking threateningly.

"Lance, you can't be serious." Kitty said.

"Oh I'm dead serious." He said. We heard a loud boom and turned to see Piotr over a pulverized boulder.

"That is enough. We will talk rationally, or we will wait till we can." He said, "But this fighting will not be happening any longer."

"He's right." Wolverine finally said. "We've all lost people today. Killing each other won't do us any good." I sighed. When Logan has to be the voice of reason, there's a serious problem with our compatibility.

"Whatever, we're out of here." Mystique said, turning away. "Anyone who doesn't want to die can come with us." I turned to look at Lance and Tabitha, Wanda still injured.

"Lance, use your head." I said to him. "Wanda can't keep going like this, and Tabitha looks like she's been through a war." I plead with him to stay. I didn't want to see them end up like that, despite our differences in the past. Lance looked around and sighed.

"We'll stay." He finally decided. Tabitha and Wanda both looked relieved as they sat down, exhausted.

"You're all a bunch of fools! I could have kept you alive, but instead you're going to die like worms." Mystique said angrily.

"Then go, keep yourself alive." Storm said. Mystique turned and stalked off alone into the wilderness, disappearing into the shadows. We gathered inside the cave and all sat around silently. Warren sat with Bobby, gently rubbing his shoulders and back while the younger man sobbed. Wanda was sitting while Hank bandaged her up and put her back together. Tabitha was sitting nearby, silent for once. I was sitting with Kurt and Scott, while Kitty lay against Lance. The younger man, Heartfelt, sat beside Ray and Amara, silent as a lamb. Ororo and Logan stood near the entrance, keeping watch and quietly discussing things. Colossus stood over the younger students in a near fatherly manner, keeping a faithful watch. Nobody quite knew what to say. Nobody knew how to comfort each other. We'd watched our friends, our classmates, even our families get torn apart by former humans. We just sat in silence.

"Alright, we need something to eat. Logan and I-" Storm started. 

"No, I'll go." Kurt said standing up.

"I'll go too." Kitty said.

"Kitty wait," Lance started.

"No, I've got to." She said.

"I'll join you." Logan said.

"I'll come too." I said, standing up.

"Please, be careful. All of you come back. Promise me you'll come back to us." Storm said worried. We all straightened up.

"We'll come back, I promise you." Kitty said.

"We'll bring food and water, enough for all of us." Wolverine said. Kurt ported us away with a Bamf! And with a whiff of sulfur, we were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Bobby POV  
I was sitting on the cold stone floor of the cave. I'd stopped crying a while ago, but I couldn't talk or really think for that matter. I couldn't really feel myself either. All I could do was sit and think about what had happened. So many of my friends were just… Dead, but not really dead. I think that it's the reason why it hurt so much. They're just mindless piles of flesh now, wandering around and killing anything that looked relatively humanoid. It was a pitiful existence to be damned to. I felt myself start crying again, my heart clenching in my chest. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Ray.  
"You doing alright?" He asked me. I snorted and wiped my eyes.  
"No." I said after a while.  
"Yeah, kind of a dumb question huh?" He asked rhetorically. He slid down beside me and sat there in silence with me.  
"Where were you?" I asked. Ray looked at me questioningly. "When they… You know?"  
"Oh, I was suiting up for a training simulation with Amara and Warren. He was going to teach us about possible evasion maneuvers that flying enemies could take, and how to use our intuition to guess which ones they would." Ray said, gently touching his belt. "How about you?"  
"I was in the kitchen with Multiple and Wolfsbane, trying to bake cookies for our home ec class." I said with a morose smile. "Multiple was about to add too much salt and baking soda, and Wolfsbane was scolding me for adding the chocolate chips too soon." I said, another tear dropping from my eye. This one froze solid before it hit the ground. I felt Ray gently press against my side. I understood what he meant. He wasn't trying to make a move, but he was trying to comfort me. No matter how much I'd tried to hide it, it wasn't long before my entire team knew about my love of contact. I'd always been told I was too cold to be near others for a long time.  
"Eh, even if they'd added the salt and soda, you would've burnt them anyway." Ray jested good heartedly. I smiled a little less sadly and gently nudged him.  
"Shut up," I whined a little bit. He smiled and laid his head against my shoulder.  
"You know, I never thought they'd be able to find us. I always thought, always hoped that Professor Xavier's defenses would be enough to keep them out and away from us." Ray whispered.  
"I understand. I just, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with watching them all die." I said.  
"Hey, we don't know that for sure." Ray said.  
"Yeah we do." I said back. I looked him in the eye and we both knew without needing to say it. They were all dead. Nobody else made it out of that mansion. Ray didn't meet my gaze and instead chose to press a little harder against me. We sat in silence for a while until Ray shifted and sat beside me again, his chin resting on his arms and knees.  
"I wish I'd had more time." Ray said. "I would've told more people what I thought of them."  
"Yeah, because we all wish you'd started more fights with us." I joked to him. He smiled and shrugged.  
"Eh, good and bad, I still wish I'd said it." Ray said quietly. I felt like my heart was breaking. I'd never heard his voice sound so weak.  
"I uh, you know, I tried to save them. Jamie was overwhelmed almost immediately. He never even had the chance to duplicate. And Rahne…" I said. I bit my lip as I felt the tears start. She tried to change, but was interrupted by one of those things jumping on her. The way she screamed as it bit and tore her flesh, halfway between a human's shriek and a dog's howl, I'd never heard a sound so awful. It would haunt me until the very day I died.  
"I know you did everything you could." Ray said to me. I nodded and tried to hold back. I was crying full on, and Ray didn't tease me, he didn't make jokes, all he did was open his arms and I crumbled against him. He gently rubbed my back and held me tight as I let go of holding it together. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, and then we just sat there. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard a bone chilling scream.  
"Help!" We heard. Storm and Colossus shot out of the entry, followed by Beast and Angel. Ray and I ran to the entrance, ready to stop their advance. We saw Kitty and Kurt carrying Rogue while Logan tried desperately to hold the creatures off. There were at least 40 of them following after them, all charging forward.  
"Hurry!" I yelled. Storm took to the skies and her eyes started glowing.  
"Wolverine retreat!" She yelled.  
"No freaking way!" He shouted back.  
"Just DO IT!" She yelled again. Wolverine seemed conflicted before he listened and cut the one after him down, then turned and ran towards us. Storm created a small wind vortex that swept many of the zombies off their feet, but many more kept rushing forward. Kurt and Kitty tore past us, followed by Angel carrying Rogue, and Beast ready to help Storm. She was moving backwards, but too slowly.  
"Hurry it up Storm!" Beast yelled. One of the zombies was almost to her when a small explosion took place, effectively blowing it apart. Tabitha tore past us and ran beside Storm.  
"Keep it up for a few more seconds, I have to focus." She shouted over the vortex. She formed a handful of smaller beads and flung them into the wind. They spread out and began exploding a few seconds later. With Boom Boom's help, Storm was able to buy enough time for them to retreat. They ran back to the cave entrance and those of us with longer range were blasting them down, but it wasn't enough.  
"They just keep coming!" I yelled. We were going to exhaust ourselves at this rate, and we'd be dead in hours if that happened. We kept trying, but nothing was slowing them down. A younger boy, who I swear had a different hair color a minute ago ran to the entrance next to Ray and I.  
"Buy me a minute." He said, kneeling down. His hands started glowing and I saw an energy wall rising from the base of the entrance. His forehead was beaded with sweat and his breathing was ragged. This cave was at least 12 feet tall and 8 feet wide. "Bobby!" He yelled. I immediately started forming a wall of ice over his own wall, eventually covering each inch of it. He collapsed from the extreme drain sustaining such a large wall caused.  
"What happened?" Storm demanded as soon as we were sure we were safe.  
"Rogue fell and hit her head, she hasn't been responsive, but she's breathing and her heart rate is stable." Kitty said. "The sound of it attracted every one of those things in a 3 block radius. Kurt couldn't teleport us and the supplies, so he dropped them in the X-Jet and came back to get us."  
"Did Rogue slip?" Storm asked.  
"I don't know, I wasn't there, I was grabbing a case of water." Kitty said. She was obviously shaken up. Lance approached her and helped her up, rubbing her shoulders.  
"Speaking of, we need that food." Logan said, pulling off his mask.  
"We're in no shape to go get it." Scott said. "Kitty and Kurt are exhausted, Rogue's unconscious, so any possible hope we had of moving past that wall without breaking it is completely finished. We need to wait until they recover."  
"We won't be able to recover as fast as we would if we had that food. I stuffed a bag of medicine and supplies in with it, Rogue needs them." Logan argued.  
"They'll do her no good if the people we send for them die!" Scott retorted.  
"Well then what do we do?!" Logan yelled, shocking everyone. "We've got nothing to eat, and nothing to drink. We'll last maybe 2 days with how hot it gets in here!"  
"Hey, I've got an idea." Amara said, getting their attention. It had been the first time she spoke since we'd gotten here.  
"What is it?" Scott asked, Logan listening too.  
"If Colossus can smash a small hole in the cave, then Bobby can fill it with ice, and then-"  
"You can melt it into water!" Ray finished. "Amara, that's brilliant!"  
"Can you do it?" She asked Colossus and I.  
"Of course," Colossus said immediately.  
"Bobby?" Amara asked me. I bit my lip.  
"I don't know if I have the strength, but I'll give it a shot." I said. She smiled, and pointed to a corner area. Colossus walked over to the area she designated, and raised his hands above his head.  
"Before I do this, does anyone else have an idea?" He asked. Nobody said anything, so he shrugged.   
"Well then, shield your eyes." He says, we all cover our faces and feel a shock through the ground, and a boom resonated throughout the cave.  
"O Gospodi," Colossus shouts. I opened my eyes and the breath hitched in my throat. Right where Colossus had smashed was a small pit with a glass tube, inside of it was-  
"Charles!" Storm exclaimed.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt POV  
I jumped to the other side of the cave.  
"What? The professor?" Logan asked angrily. Colossus stepped back from the hole he'd made, and sure enough the professor was inside of a small pit, now covered in stone dust and shattered glass.  
"What the hell is he doing here?!" Yelled Lance. "He was attacked at our house almost a week ago!"  
"And you just sat there and watched?" I demanded. "That's low, even for you!"  
"Back off furry! How would you have reacted if Mystique had just shown up?" Lance yelled. He had a point I guess.  
"What's he doing here now?" Storm asked, approaching slowly. Suddenly Xavier shot up from his position in the hole.  
"Run!" Xavier yelled. We all stepped back shocked.  
"What?" Logan asked.  
"RUN!" Xavier screamed, choking sounds. Suddenly spikes shot out of his throat and mouth. They started shaking and trembling, and they shot out and wrapped around whatever they could touch. They wrapped around Colossus as he was closest and started tightening. I could hear his metal limbs groan and tremble as extreme pressure was put on them.  
"Fall back!" Storm cried, taking to the air. She returned to the ice wall at the opening of the cave and started to break through it. Logan leapt forward and cut through the vines around Colossus, freeing the large man. They ran towards the entrance as Charles' dead body was lifted by the vines and started moving towards the group of mutants./  
"What are we going to do?!" Kitty shrieked.  
"We need to get out of here!" Scott yelled, blasting the ice wall. Amara shifted to her magma form and was melting through the ice, but not fast enough.  
"Just buy me a few minutes!" Amara shouted, pushing herself to her limits. I turned and jumped onto a nearby boulder and ported it above Xavier's body, porting back to the entrance. The vines broke through it and didn't leave a dent. The young mutant with bright hair stepped forward, making another wall in front of Xavier, and the vines broke right through it.  
"This is powerful dark magic." Wanda said, still bandaged up. "Have a taste of chaos magic!" Wanda's magic almost slithered from her hands, wrapping around Xavier. She was struggling to hold it.  
"I've got it open!" Amara yelled. Ray and Bobby took off out the opening and started blasting the zombies outside, Storm following with Beast and Colossus. Wanda was still holding Xavier in place, a line of sweat across her forehead. As more and more people took off out the door I waited for Wanda, within arm's reach of her. Hank pulled the Jet around and Lance was positioned at the opening. Wanda's concentration broke and she fell back into me. I grabbed her and ported her to the Jet, I then ported back down and grabbed Rogue and Warren, who was still carrying the former.  
"We're not going to make it out of here!" Warren said.  
"We have to try! We can't be overwhelmed here!" Hank yelled. "If we die the chance of this hell being taken care of drops to almost zero!" I stayed quiet, looking at the ground. Currently on the Jet were Hank, Wanda, Rogue, Warren, Bobby, Ray, Piotr, Kitty, Scott, Storm, and myself. Other than us, currently Logan, Amara, that young boy, Tabitha, and Lance were on the ground. Tabitha and Lance were running towards the ramp, followed by Amara, Logan, and that young boy. I ported down to grab that boy and Tabitha, I ported them back to the Jet. I ported back down to grab Lance and Amara, but both were tackled by zombies. Lance screamed and yelled, horrible shrieks of pain escaping from him. Kitty phased through the top of the Jet and tried to grab Lance, but it was too late. He had parts of his face and neck bitten out of him. Amara's screams were worse, and I'll never forget hearing them. The pure scream and cry of grief and pain as she got torn apart, only a fourteen year old girl. I bit my lip and grabbed Kitty out of the grips of the zombies and ported us back to the Jet, which took off as Logan was sliding in the door.  
"LANCE! LANCE!" Kitty was screaming. She fell to the floor, her head in her hands. She was full on hysterical. I took a look at her and cringed. She was covered in his blood. Everyone was silent as they looked at me. I shook my head and sat down, starting to cry myself. If I'd just acted a second sooner, everyone would've made it. But now, Lance and Amara were dead. Bobby and Ray were silent, realizing that every member of their team was dead except for them. All were silent as Hank piloted the Jet, looking around for a safe place.  
"I've gotten ahold of Dr. Strange, he said that we could stay with him at the Sanctum Sanctorum." The beast said, setting his course. The Jet was very cramped and uncomfortable, only meant to carry 8 people at a time. Many of us opted to sit on the floor, not caring at this point.  
"So what the hell happened?" Warren finally asked. Wanda looked up.  
"It was dark magic, incredibly powerful. Not even the god of Mischief, Loki, would have been able to pull it off by himself." Wanda said. "He had to have had help."  
"The questions are who helped him, and can it be undone?" Storm asked aloud.  
"It doesn't matter either way, Charles is dead." Wanda said, sitting back down. "We should have left when Mystique wanted to."  
"Don't say that." Tabitha said.  
"What? It's true." Wanda shot back. Tabitha got off her chair and right up in Wanda's face in seconds.  
"Mystique could already be dead for all we know. At least this way we don't have to see her ever again." Tabitha said quietly. It really made me wonder how bad my mother really was. Thinking about her dead made me slightly sick, but that would most people. I grabbed a washcloth and soaked it in the bathroom sink, approaching Kitty. I sat down beside her and nudged her shoulder gently. She didn't even budge, just sat staring forward with tears running down her face.  
"Hey, I brought you something." I said, offering her the cloth. She took it and half-heartedly wiped the blood from her face. I didn't say anything, just sat next to her.  
"It was horrible… Seeing him torn apart like that. And hearing Amara's screams, it, it was…" Kitty tried to talk, but was crying again. I rubbed her shoulder gently and she buried her face on mine, sobbing loudly. I held the girl close to me as she cried. She cried until she fell asleep, and then I sat crying with her in my arms. I knew what she meant. She would never in her life forget hearing that, and neither would I. But what really haunted me was seeing Lance. Whenever I thought of him, the only thing that came to mind was the way his face was all torn apart. It was a gruesome thought that made my stomach churn.  
"Hey." Tabitha said sitting down next to me. I smiled at her weakly and looked down at Kitty. "You got a thing for her?"  
"Nein, nothing more than friendship." I said. "She was there, when Lance and Amara… Yeah, she phased through the Jet to try to save them, but it was too late. They were torn apart in seconds."  
"Yeah, I get that. I watched Todd and Pietro get messed up. Blob was the last one left, and he fell just as we got out of there. It was awful." Tabitha said sitting beside me. I nodded and laid my head back. Tabitha laid down beside me, offering her hand. I kept holding onto Kitty and laid my head against her shoulder instead. She smiled and laid her cheek on top of my head. I laid in silence for a while until I eventually fell asleep against her shoulder, not telling anyone about the pin stab I got in the side from Xavier. They don't need to worry about anything else until we're safe.


	4. Chapter 4

Warren POV  
I flexed my wings uncomfortably. I was stuck in this stupid jet with a group of people who had crumbling psyches and broken morality. Something needed to happen soon, or we were going to lose this fight before we were even a day into it.  
“Hank, I think I have an idea.” I said, sitting next to him.  
“What’s that Warren?” He asked, raising a bushy blue eyebrow. I looked around and pointed at Heartfelt.  
“Him, Bhazein is his name I think, he’s got something.” I said. “I know because Charles gave it to him so he could hide his hair and eyes.”  
“What are you talking about?” Hank asked.  
“He’s got ranky stanky.” I said. Hank looked at me dumbfounded.  
“What?” He asked dumbly.  
“Devil’s lettuce? The good kush? The magic Ganja? ” I said again. Hank continued to look at me like I was an idiot. I sighed. “He’s got pot.”  
“Oh, OH, got it.” Hank said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  
“Why not?” I asked. “I think it’d be nice to get people’s minds off of things.”  
“Warren, this is day one. If we get everyone here reliant on marijuana right now, what will we do when we run out?” Hank asked. He had a good point.  
“We can always cultivate more.” I said.  
“And when the tetra-hydra-cannabinol levels are different and they aren’t getting the same fix? Or if we get attacked while everyone is stoned?” Hank countered. He stumped me.  
“Hmm, maybe it wasn’t such a hot idea after all.” I said.  
“Don’t feel down. If I was about 15 years younger you would’ve had me at ‘Pot.’ I’m not saying it’s a bad idea altogether, just right now. It’s too soon into this for us to take our minds off of it.” Hank explained. I chuckled a little.  
“Hank McCoy smoking marijuana during the initial war on drugs?” I asked. “I find it hard to believe.”  
“Yes well, us mutants have never really been good at listening to the demands of society or the law, have we?” Hank asked, chuckling himself. I smiled and stood up again.  
“Hey, the younger of us are getting hit hard. I’m particularly worried about Kitty and Kurt, not to mention Bobby. Ray is holding himself together with a pin, but this is too much for them.” I explained, my tone grim.  
“We are aware, however there’s nothing we can do until we give them enough time to process what’s happening.” Storm said, standing beside us.  
“We don’t have time. They’re going to have to get it together fast.” Logan said, joining us.  
“If we try to force them into action too soon they’re going to get slaughtered.” Hank said, rising from his pilot seat.  
“All missions must be voluntary. We cannot afford to push them and get them killed.” Piotr said.  
“What’s going on?” We all turned to see Bobby and Ray. Tabitha, Scott, Wanda, and Bhazein were backing them.  
“We’re discussing how we’re going to approach our missions and whatnot from here on out.” I said to them. Hank and Storm shot me a dirty look.  
“Warren, is now the best time to explain this to them?” Storm asked me.  
“Now is the only time Ororo.” I replied, steadfast in my words. “We’re going to have to be fully honest and inclusive of them. They’re not children anymore.”  
“I’m aware they’re not babies, but they are still children.” Storm said.  
“No, none of us can be described as ‘Children’ or ‘Adults’ anymore. To those things out there, we’re livestock.” I argued. Storm held her gaze for a few minutes and I held mine too. The air practically crackled with tension, before the older woman sighed and closed her eyes.  
“You are correct. We need to work as a full team, undivided by anything.” Storm admit. I breathed a sigh of relief and flexed my wings a little further out than before. I was about to say something when the computer beeped.  
“We’re approaching Dr. Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. I need to land the jet, we can talk more inside.” Hank said, retaking his seat as pilot. We all sat down and steadied ourselves for the landing.  
“Two more minutes.” Hank said. We fastened our belts and waited. Hank landed the jet in the courtyard, and we exited the jet, greeted by Dr. Strange himself.  
“Greetings my friends, I’m sorry that it couldn’t be under better circumstances.”  
“Hello Dr. Strange, thank you for allowing us to stay here. I assure you, we will be no trouble.” Storm said to him. He took her hand and gently kissed.  
“Ah, dearest Storm, make yourselves at home. Shall I get us tea and we can discuss what’s happened?” Strange asked, a devilish grin on his face. Storm gave a small laugh and nodded.  
“That would be most appreciated.” She said, following his gesture.  
“And the rest of you, please feel free to take up any spare rooms found on the second or third floor.” Dr. Strange said, leading us into his home. He gestured to the stair case to our left. I finally stretched my wings and flew upward. I landed on the second floor and was looking for the rooms that were mentioned. There were enough for some of us to have our own, but others had to room. Kitty and Rogue roomed together again, knowing each other fairly well already. Many others paired up and went their ways, but there was one room left, and it had one bed.  
“Dibs man!” Kurt yelled, trying to port. Right before he landed on the bed I grabbed him by the shirt.  
“I don’t think so. We’re going to have to share.” I said. Secretly, I was nervous as hell. Kurt had just turned 21, he’d been a kid until recently. He cut his long hair and got his ears pierced, and his eyes had started to glow a tiny bit recently. All in all, he was a handsome looking man.  
“Warren, how old are you?” Kurt asked me.  
“I’m 28.” I said quietly.  
“Oh, I always thought you were older.” Kurt jested. I dropped him and sat down on the bed.  
“And I thought you were kinder.” I said.  
“I’m already kind en- Ohh.” Kurt said. “You know, that was clever, using German against me.”  
“I thought you’d like that.” I said, frowning. Kurt sat down next to me on the bed.  
“I can ask Dr. Strange to conjure up another bed if you want.” Kurt said, looking away. I didn’t know if it was just the heat or more, but suddenly I had a crimson red blush at the idea of sharing a bed with Kurt.  
“I don’t really care either way. I mean, we sleep at mostly different times anyway, right?” I asked.  
“Yes. However, what happens if we’re both tired?” Kurt asked. I blushed even redder.  
“I mean, we could always switch off on the floor… Or, we could,” I closed my eyes and looked to the side. “We could always share.”  
Kurt seemed taken aback by the suggestion, however, he didn’t recoil in a particularly bad way.  
“Oh, well, we could. I mean, it might be nice.” Kurt said, pausing in his words. “Not to have to be alone.” I sat back and flexed my wings. I can understand what he was saying.  
“Yeah… Say, Kurt, do you think,” I started then stopped. “Do you think we’re going to have nightmares? Or worse?”  
“Warren…” He said. I looked over to him. I saw him gripping his side hard.  
“Kurt what’s wrong?” I asked.  
“It’s nothing.” He said.  
“Kurt don’t lie to me.” I said. I could feel my pulse rising as I said that. I lied my way through almost everything. If someone asked me how I was doing? I said okay. Someone asked what was wrong? I said nothing.  
“Really, it’s nothing.” I grabbed Kurt’s hand gently.  
“Bullshit.” I said firmly, but gently. I pulled my Sleeve up and raised my arm. “Kurt, I know how to lie. This is how I dealt with things, and I can hear you lying exactly the way I do. So when you lie that way, this is what I think you’re doing.”  
Kurt sat absolutely still, just looking. I already knew what he was seeing. He saw jagged, angry, raised red scars, all over my arm. I could tell he hadn’t been expecting this at all.  
“I…” Kurt started, then stopped. He suddenly stood up and took his shirt off.  
“Whoa, what are you-“  
“This is what I’ve been hiding.” He said, gesturing to his side. There was a small circular stab wound, like he’d been impaled with a thick needle, or a tooth, or a vine. And then it dawned on me.  
“Did that happen when the Professor attacked us?” I asked. He nodded. I reached forward and gently touched it, he flinched back and hissed.  
“Is it infected?” I asked. He shook his head.  
“Nein, I’ve been cleaning it, but I had nothing to help it heal.” Kurt said, but he was slowly devolving to tears. I stood up and gently pulled the shorter man into a hug, careful of his injured side.  
“Nobody else knows?” I asked. He shook his head.  
“Alright, we’ll ask Hank and Dr. Strange to take a look at it, discreetly.” I said.  
“Thank you Warren.” He said, laying his forehead on my chest. He pulled his arms around me, and before I even realized it I’d wrapped my wings around him gently. “Warren?”  
“Hmm?” I asked.  
“Please don’t do that anymore. I can’t stand the idea of you hurting yourself.” Kurt said. His words hit me in the gut, and I had to think about how to respond.  
“Kurt, I think I’m addicted to it, but I’m going to give it a try. I’m going to try to stop.” I said.  
“I’m here, if you need help.” Kurt said. I nodded, and we just stood there for a while, my arms around his waist, his arms around my neck, my wings around us, his tail snaked around my waist. We’re not alone, we’ve got each other. And neither of us are letting go.


	5. Chapter 5

Scott POV  
I was pacing around the room I’d claimed. It’s been a week. A full week. A week since I’d seen or heard anything about Jean. We’d found Charles, he is now dead. Wait, Tabitha and Wanda were somewhere around here. I stood and stalked out of the room at a quick pace, looking around for the younger mutants. I was walking past the rooms of the others, not finding anyone out in the halls. I couldn’t blame them, they were probably exhausted. I heard cries coming from some rooms, silence from others. As I walked past one I caught a whiff of something, and I slammed the door open. I saw a boy in his late teens sitting on his bed with a bong in his hands, looking like a deer caught in headlights.   
“What the hell?” I asked. He slowly pulled his lighter away.   
“Uh, it’s not what it looks like?” He tried nervously.   
“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.   
“Really.” He said back.   
“Are you sure? Because to me, it looks like you’re smoking marijuana.” I said sternly.   
“What?” The boy asked, playing dumb. “Me? Smoking marijuana? I would never.”   
“Are you absolutely sure? I think you’d better let me take a look at that, for inspection purposes.” I said, stepping forward. This kid’s reflexes almost scared me, he was off the bed in an instant.   
“Hands off my pot laserbeams.” He said, squinting his eyes. I noticed they were insanely bloodshot, even despite my glasses interfering with color.   
“Your eyes look like they’re about to start shooting beams of their own here any second.” I retorted. His eyes squinted even further, than unexpectedly he laughed.   
“Fair enough. Want a hit?” He asked, offering the bong.   
“Sure, I’ll take one.” I said. I took the bong and hurled it against the wall. The boy shrugged.   
“Joke’s on you asshole.” He said, pulling a hand pipe out of his pocket. He lit it and blew the smoke in my face, making me cough. “Now leave me alone.”   
And with that, he pushed me out and closed his door. I blinked and huffed, then turned and continued my walk.   
“You know, maybe you should’ve taken him up on the offer. Might’ve loosened up the stick in your ass.” I heard a gruff voice say. I turned and saw the most obnoxious man in the world standing against the wall with a cigar in his mouth.   
“I don’t think that Strange would appreciate everyone smoking in his house.” I said, looking around.   
“Eh, he smokes cigarettes all day long, figured he wouldn’t mind.” Logan said, shifting off the wall.   
“I find that hard to believe.” I said, continuing my walk. I heard Logan following me, so I turned to look at him again. “Is there something you needed?” I asked. Logan shrugged.   
“I don’t know, but you seem like you need something.” He said. My eyebrow twitched in irritation as I continued walking.   
“I don’t need anything from you.” I said. The older man chuckled.   
“Touchy touchy.” Logan said. I turned and found myself getting in his face.   
“Fuck. Off.” I said low and threateningly. He leaned up to get more in my face.   
“No.” He said simply. I grabbed his shoulders and slammed him into the wall.   
“What the fuck do you want Logan?” I demanded, seething.   
“I want you to be honest slim.” He said, shoving me off of him. “Honest with me, honest with yourself, and honest with the rest of us.”   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said.   
“The hell you don’t, now listen to me Slim, either you fess the hell up or I’ll walk out there and tell everyone about those flasks you’ve got hidden in every one of your pockets.” Logan snarled. I stopped.   
“How did you know?” I asked, not turning to look at him. Even though nobody could really see my eyes through my visor, somehow Logan always knew exactly where to look.   
“I can smell it on your breath.” He said. “And let me tell you, it won’t help anything.”   
“What do you know about helping problems?!” I shouted. “As far as I can tell you bottle everything up until it explodes and you hurt somebody!”   
“What I know, boy, is that if you keep running from it you’re going to end up JUST like me, a lonely, miserable old man, with nothing to show for his life, a spotty memory, and regrets.” Logan spit out at me. I was shocked, to say the least. I’d never heard Logan talk about himself like that, but moreover, it almost sounded like he cared.   
“Why do you care? We’re not exactly butt buddies.” I snorted, turning my gaze.   
“I care because you’re 23 and you have a dangerous addiction. That kid in there, getting high as hell, he’s got a problem he’s running from too.” Logan said, jamming his finger towards the room I’d been kicked out of. “But his problem isn’t going kill him.”   
“It’s not that bad!” I yelled.   
“Really? Because since Jean went missing you’ve drank more and more, until last night you almost died. Yeah, I heard you puking your guts up into the toilet. I found you lying on your bathroom floor, covered in your own vomit, blazing a hole in the roof of the mansion. You were blubbering about how you loved Jean and needed her to come back.” Logan said quietly. “I cleaned your ass up, put your glasses on you, and carried you back to your bed, where you promptly clung to my neck and begged me not to leave, because you were so gone you thought I was Jean.”   
I stood there shocked, not knowing what to say.   
“I-, Logan I,” I tried, but no words would form.   
“Scott, you drank 3 bottles of whiskey.” Logan almost whispered. I was beyond shaken. First, Logan seemed like he actually cared about me, and second, he looked like he actually knew what he was talking about.   
“Logan, I’m sorry.” I said. The more I thought, the more it dawned on me that this was a serious problem. I’d done it every time Jean went missing, right back to the first time when I was seventeen.   
*Flashback since apparently italic lettering doesn't show up*  
“Mr. Straightlaced asking me for anything? Let alone booze?” Lance said, smirking.   
“Will you get it for me, or not?” I grit through my teeth. Jean had been gone for three days now, I haven’t slept or eaten anything.   
“I mean, I will, but you’re going to have to do something for me.” Lance said, smirking wider.   
“What do you want?” I asked.   
“Get me a date with Kitty.” He said. I snorted.   
“Seriously? That’s what you want?” I asked. His smirk turned to a frown.   
“Do you want to get drunk or not?” Lance asked me.   
“Fine, I’ll do it.” I said, bringing out my phone. I dialed Kitty’s number.   
“Hey, Kitty,” I started. “You know that loser you have a crush on? What’s his name? Yeah, Lance, well, he asked me to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with him.” I looked at Lance and flashed him a thumbs up. He pumped his fist. “Thanks Kitty, bye.”   
“Alrighty then four eyes, here’s what you’re asking for.” Lance said, opening the trunk of his jeep. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and some cranberry juice. “And this is just because I’m feeling generous and don’t want you to get sick.”   
“Cranberry juice?” I asked confused.   
“It’s for mixing with the vodka, so you don’t make yourself sick.” Lance said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with a kitty cat to plan.”   
“Whatever.” I said, throwing the bottles in my trunk. I sped back to the mansion and brought my backpack up to my room. I checked the hallway, and seeing nobody else, I shut my door. I poured myself a large glass of the alcohol, and put some juice in. I took a swig and about spit it out, but I swallowed it down, shaking my head at the bitter taste. I wasn’t a fan, but I took another drink anyway. And then another, then another, until pretty soon I’d gone through a good portion of the bottle. I tried to stand up, but fell over.   
“Oh Jean, where are you?”   
*End Flashback*  
I bit my lip and looked over at Logan.   
“Scott, you need help.” He said. “And I don’t know where or how to get it for you.” We were sitting on the floor of the hallway. I had my hair in my hands, and Logan wasn’t making fun of me, wasn’t cracking jokes, no snide comments. Just care.   
“Logan, I do need help.” I finally choked out. As soon as I said it a sob escaped me. And like my drinks, they just kept coming. Eventually I was full on sobbing, my eyes steaming as the tears burnt away. Logan put his arm over my shoulders and I fell against him.   
“It’s okay Scott, we’ll find you help. I’ll find you help.” Logan said, rubbing my shoulders. I nodded, still crying. And for the first time in over six years, I didn’t feel like taking a drink.


	6. Chapter 6

Remy POV  
I was stalking down the street in the early morning, ducking behind cars and doorways. I slid behind an overturned Hummer and checked around the corner, leaning gently on the roof of the car. I saw eight of the creatures stumbling around. I took a card from my deck and hurled it across the road into the front door of a shop. The explosion rang through the silent city like a death sentence. I kept my place behind the hummer as I watched over 30 of the damn beasts swarm the shop.   
“Holy shit, I only saw eight…” I whispered to myself, taking the chance. I turned and ran down the street to a crashed pickup truck and ducked behind it. I was looking around for my next move when I heard a growled snarl next to my ear and I jerked forward, twisting around into the doorway. I saw a man with black veins climbing his neck and arms hammering on his window. I saw the group beside the store start to take notice to the thumping sound. Some were wandering over to investigate, and I had my back pressed against the door when suddenly a pair of arms grabbed me from behind.   
“Gambit!” The voice said aloud. I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful sight of my life.   
“Dear god, it’s you!” I exclaimed. I was face to face with a handful of the X-Men and Dr. Strange.   
“Uh, yeah! Who’re you expecting, Jesus?” Rogue said with a chuckle.   
“Well mon ami, you might as well be. I thought I was a goner!” I said, letting out a shaky breath.   
“Either way, we’re safe here for now. Come on, I’ll show you around.” Rogue said to me, offering a hand. I smiled and took it gently, but was stopped by a hand on my shoulder from Dr. Strange.   
“I just want you to know, that anything you take will reappear in my bedroom, so don’t try anything.” He said.   
“Hey, no reason to steal with nobody to sell it to.” I said with a shrug. I followed the shorter girl through a series of hallways and doors until we reached a medium sized sitting room with two couches and a pair of recliners.   
“So why did you drag me all the way back here?” I asked her as she sat down on the couch.   
“I brought you here so we could talk without anybody else interrupting.” She replied.   
“Well shoot, what did you wanna chat about?” I asked, sitting on the opposite side of the couch.   
“I don’t really know. I just know I really wanted to see you. I thought that you were, well, you know.” Rogue said, avoiding eye contact. I raised my eyebrow and studied the girl hard.   
“This isn’t like you girlie.” I said to her, catching her attention.   
“Whatd’ya mean?” She asked, making eye contact.   
“I mean, it isn’t like you to not know what you want. Usually you’d avoid someone until you knew exactly what you wanted to say.” I said. I sat up and set a hand on her shoulder. “Are you doing alright?”   
“I…” Rogue started, before she turned and laid her head on my chest. “Remy I don’t know. I can’t sleep, I can’t think, all I see are those, things!” She said, her voice breaking. It hurt to hear her talking like this.   
“Hey, hey hey, listen to me,” I said, gently grabbing her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. She was sniffling and had a few tears gathering. “It’ll be alright. I’m here, Logan is here, a whole load of your teammates and friends are here. We’re going to be okay, alright? I promise.” I said to her.   
“How can you say that?” She asked. “Have you seen what those things can do?”   
“I have, but have you seen the kind of things WE can do?” I asked her with a smile. She sniffed again and wiped her eyes with a small smile.   
“I have, but these things just don’t stop. We have to completely obliterate their body to get them to quit.” She said.   
“Yeah, but how many of us do you know that could do that with one or two attacks?” I said back.   
“A few.” She said with a smile. “There’s Colossus.” I grinned.   
“That’s right, they can’t even bite him, and he can probably pulverize their entire body with a punch.” I said, rubbing her back.   
“And Storm. She could use lightning.” Rogue said again, slowly snaking her arms around me.   
“And Cyclops,” I said.   
“And Wanda and Tabitha.” Rogue said again, gently laying her head on my chest.   
“See? Lots of your team can beat them head on, and the ones who can’t can use other means to win. We’re all trained to fight, we can do this.” I said, gently squeezing her tighter against me.   
“I guess. But you’re underselling yourself. You could probably kill them with one hit too.” Rogue said again, pulling back a little.   
“Probably, but I’m too busy holding a pretty lady to do it.” I said with a daring smirk. Rogue laughed quietly and shoved my shoulder.   
“Oh quit you big dog!” She said smiling.   
“Woof.” I said back, getting closer to her. I was making a move to kiss her when she put her hand on my chest.   
“Wait, Remy we can’t.” She said. I backed up quickly.   
“I’m sorry, did I read the signals wrong? Do you not want to do this?” I asked quickly.   
“NO, no, it’s not that I don’t want to.” Rogue said, looking down. “It’s because I’ll, you’ll get hurt.” And then it dawned on me. How stupid! I tried to kiss her when her mutation is to absorb powers and memories on skin contact!   
“Oh Rogue, please forgive me, it completely slipped my mind!” I said. She nodded and set her hand on my shoulder.   
“It’s alright, I get it.” She said. “I’m sorry we couldn’t.” I was looking at her with a sympathetic frown when we heard quiet coughing coming from the corner. Both of our eyes snapped towards the window the sound came from, where a boy a bit younger than Rogue sitting next to the window with a pipe.   
“Sorry, I took too big of a hit.” He said between coughing.   
“What the hell?!” Rogue shouted. “How long have you been there?!” The boy looked at his watch and looked back at us.   
“About two hours. I didn’t even realize you were here until just a second ago.” He said, his hair slowly shifting from white to a bright blue. “How long have you been here?” He asked.   
“Wait, did your hair just change color?” Rogue asked. The boy sighed deeply and looked us in the eye.   
“Give it a minute and my eyes will catch up.” He said, and sure enough his eyes shifted color too.   
“Why does it do that?” I asked.   
“My mutation causes it.” He said. “My mutation is to mildly control mine and other’s aura, which is directly linked to our emotions. My hair and eyes reflect my aura.” He explained, taking another rip off his pipe.   
“What are you smoking? It reeks.” Rogue said. I gave the air a sniff and grinned.   
“Hey hey, is that some of that wacky tobacky I smell?” I asked. The boy grinned and nodded, his hair shifting to yellow.   
“Hell yeah it is boy.” He said.   
“Do you mind if I get a few hits?” I asked. The boy looked at his pipe and back to me.   
“I don’t know, I haven’t got much left. But, I’ll share if you can find me some cigarettes.” He said.   
“How old are you kid?” I asked.   
“I’m 18, but would it have mattered?” He asked.   
“Not at all.” I said, walking over. “I’ll get you a pack of cigarettes.” He smiled and passed the pipe over to me.   
“Deal, finish it off and let me know, I’ll give you a chunk out of my bag once I get the pack.” He said. Rogue cleared her throat.   
“Uh, hello?” She asked. “What the hell are you guys talking about?”   
“Marijuana baby.” I said to her. “Wanna give it a shot?” I asked.   
“No, I’m alright. But, maybe a little bit later.” She said with a wink. I looked at the boy and looked back at her.   
“Boy just take mine.” I said, tossing him my last unopened pack of cigarettes. He caught them and then smiled.   
“Great, thank you!” He exclaimed. “Just find me and let me know when you want that stuff, I’ll lend you my pipe too.” I smiled.   
“Sounds good kid, stay dank.” I said. He nodded.   
“Let’s get something to eat.” Rogue said. I followed behind her as we left. I shut the door behind me and Rogue sighed. “That was weird.”   
“Do you think so?” I asked.   
“We started talking, I cried a little, we cuddled and almost kissed, and now you’re a little bit high.” She said. I thought hard for a moment.   
“Huh, I guess it is unusual.” I said.   
“But, with us what’s ever been normal?” Rogue said with a smile. I shrugged and smiled too.   
“That’s why we’re so damn great honey.” I said to the girl beside me.   
“Must be.” She said with a smile. And for the first time in weeks, I felt genuinely happy to be alive.


End file.
